Status report

The pain management search isn't going terribly well; the pain management center at Rose apparently only provides pain meds for people with cancer; no prescriptions for any other type of pain. Not only that, but my clinic should have known that before sending me there. I'm going to contact the University of Colorado Spine Center and see if they can get me in. They've been on a couple of news programs, so it could take a while.

In the meantime, Doug and I will be going in to my "regular doctor" on Thursday morning to let our displeasure be known.

Alyria is doinig reasonably well academically; that was half an hour in the powerchair. Then I sat for over an hour discovering the clinic I'd been sent to couldn't help my pain. Doug had to lift me out of the chair after that session; my back was spasmed too tightly to stand up.

I did go to the gym Saturday -- passed today because of the degree of spasm. I worked out for 25 minutes, and that was a bit much; I got stuck on the toilet when I got home. However, after a few hours of rest, I was OK to move around in the house and go to the potty by myself again. Wednesday I'll plan to work out for 15 minutes and see how that goes.

Trial by fire? Or at least, by back pain?

So, I had my first shot at Diabetes education. There's a waiting list for pain management, but there's always room for one more in Diabetes Education. (As a matter of fact, Rose is part of Health One, so if you don't have United Healthcare, the waiting lists for things at HealthOne facilities should be short. Maybe I should call the hospital doc again tomorrow and see if I can get into pain management earlier.)

In my opinion it's backward, but I'll attend the classes like a good sheep, so I don't develop a reputation as a "problem patient." Testy and opinionated, but not problem.

This was the intro course. I have reading to do, and a couple of day's eating habits to log -- pre-meal plan. They have a 1500 calorie meal plan. At my body size, that might be a little drastic. I want to get into the pool, but am not sure I should till I see the doctor after my hospital stay.

I sat essentially still in my chair for 3 hours, after a rather bone-rattling trip to the education center from parking. It took me a full five minutes to get into the door from the car, with the sprog running the walker out from the house. I hobbled to the bathroom before collapsing, and the effort to get off the pot took a full-throated scream to actually stand. More Percocet and rest improved the situation; I just shouldn't have been sitting so long at this time. I'm planning on the core Diabetes class late in the month, in hopes of better pain management by then. I will prevail and feel well again, and soon.

Night time meds have helped and sleep will help more. I'm heading there presently.

I see my doctor next Tuesday. Gotta get a glucometer, and there are only a couple that handle Vitamin C megadosing, so I'm going to try for one of those.

And one of the fridges seemed to be on the fritz. Turned out, it was a relay that didn't close after the defrost cycle. We did lose some things, and have other things that need cooking in the next couple of days. Nothing earth-shaking. However, hubby decided since we'd already emptied the fridge before roomie came home to reset it, he was going to clean it.

Really clean it.

With bleach.

It's sitting with bleach in it now; he'll finish cleaning it tomorrow, and then -- dun dun DUN -- we tackle the big fridge. I think I've been better about keeping down the science projects in the big fridge, but there are some really ugly spills.

Tomorrow is back-to-school night for the young un's school. She wants us both to go. I want to go, so I'll take the day really easy so I can manage an hour or so sitting. Dinner after, however, may be dictated rather than made by my own hand.

On words and facility with language

My sister-in-law lives in Las Vegas. She housed hubby when he was there after MIL's disappearance and reappearance. She's been living with chronic leg and back pain for years, is on disability, and hubby says that he sees me going through some of the same things he saw with SIL. For example, I lose words. I grope and grope for the right word. SIL warned hubby that I would be going through this. He's more comfortable than I am with the strange difficulty speaking and loss of words. I hope it isn't going to be like this forever. I pride myself on my ability to speak and write well and intelligently.

I fear it will.

End of the long weekend

Well, the Oxycodone with Percocet for breakthrough pain is about 33% effective. If I take two pills of Percocet, the pain goes away, but so does my consciousness; I fall asleep. Only one pill of Percocet will allow me to remain partially lucid, but also doesn't really handle the pain. I'm on one Percocet right now and at about an 8. Tomorrow, I will call the various medical establishments and see what I can do about pain management, and set up the "diabetes education" that I doubt I have. I'll have to set up an appointment for my Family Practice doctor at the same time to see if I can get another blood draw when I've actually been fasting long enough for a fasting blood test.

I so love dealing with doctors...

Home again,home again, jiggity jig

I'm home. I'm on stronger drugs, so now I'm loopy and in pain. If the meds are working, then I'm real glad they aren't any stronger. The Family Practice doctor at the hospital tried to get me a pain management doc while I was there, but they were all focussed on getting out of work for the three day weekend. The doc was quite pissed; he nearly swore in my presence,. he was so angry.

And while my thyroid is fine, my A1C is 7. I'd think that would mean a second test in a few weeks, because the level was right at the cutoff. No, the hospital declared me diabetic and refused to feed me most of what I wanted. I couldn't even get a glass of Gatorade for my cottonmouth from the pain drugs.

I'm home, and if I don't move, it doesn't hurt too much. If the pain is in fact being reduced by the meds, I would be screaming.

Now to catch up on Email.

Been a while, but...

First, before we get to me, my Dad is in Cardiac Care. One of the valves between an upper and lower chamber of the heart (Mom didn't know which side of the heart when she called me) has failed. 6 months ago there was a hole that was 2.5 cm squared allowing blood through, and he was in a "watch it and see status." Today the hole was on .5 cm squared, drastically reducing bloodflow. He'll be getting a pig valve to replace the failed valve. As of this morning, he was running a fever from something unrelated, and they want to do an angiogram and see if there are any blockages that should be bypassed while they're in there -- no one wants to have to crack his chest open twice. I checked, and prayers, good vibes, good wishes and healing energy are all gratefully accepted by Al C, roughly in Kansas City, KS. Shawnee Mission hospital, I believe.

My Mom had a quad bypass the day after Labor Day last year. The staff all recognize them. It's my strong desire and hope that they won't be spending Labor Day -- and Mom's birthday -- in the hospital next year, but that the two of them will have a pleasant and relaxing holiday together. So mote it be.

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As for me, I've been very frustrated with my doctor at the clinic I go to; she has yet to write a prescription for my pain meds correctly. I thought I was seeing her today. Instead I saw Dr. Young, who will soon be opening private practice in Golden. journeyrose, if you still lived in Lakewood, I would send you to him when he opens he practice.

First thing he asked, after skimming the intake sheet, which stated my pain level was once again a 9, was "Why are you on Tramadol?" He took me off the Tramadol and Sulindac, and wrote me 20 day's prescription of Oxycontin 10 mg. In his patient notes, he says he's starting on a small dose because I'm "opiate naive." I should be scheduled for an MRI (I'll try to get a mammosquish that day too) soon, full spinal series, and I will be referred to a pain management specialist.

So for right now I can't drive, until I know how the opiate affects me. If past experience, which is minimal, and the experience of others is a good rule, it will either all go to easing my pain and I won't get fuxxy, or if I get fuxxy, I'll become clearheaded after a couple of weeks.

The doctor also announces while I'm there "You should get your stomach stapled." I said, "No." He said "Why?" and I replied that I preferred to lose weight in a healthy manner. He said, "OK," and we went back to the pain issue.

He took my case away from my previous doctor, saying he believes in aggressive treatment. Since her treatment was certainly not aggressive, I was quite willing to become his patient instead.

Towards the end of the rather rapid-fire visit, we slowed down, and I explained to him that I don't believe in weight loss surgery. He said "neither do I." I apparently look surprised -- I mean, he'd suggested it to me within two minutes of meeting me -- and he explained that most patients are not motivated to lose weight in a healthy manner, they want the quick fix. From what he heard from me and Doug, he now believes I am motivated to actually exercise and eat right to improve my health, so the weight loss surgery has been taken off the table. Whew.

If we can reduce my pain levels, I can take myself to the gym, and unship and ship up the power chair without much problem. Up till now, I was in too much pain to pull out the ramp, roll out the chair, bundle up the ramp, put it away, do what I want to do, and then reverse the process. Lifting the ramp while in pain was the sticking point.

I'm a lot more hopeful about my pain situation now than I was going into the doctor's office early this afternoon. I'm relieved as well. With my pain better controlled, then we can explore the reason my hands go numb; I wouldn't be surprised if it were something like Thoracic Outlet Syndrome. But that has been less pressing than being in extreme pain for some strange reason.

I do need a new swimsuit. At the moment I'm supersized, which limits my selection, but I'm going to browse around and see if I can find a clearance swimsuit to replace the one I have, which is at least 10 years old.

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On the crochet end, the Crone's shawl is completed, and She liked it a great deal. The reason I needed it was apparently a success, and my Lady has announced that the shawl is Hers. I know better than to argue, so apparently my paphernalia needed for Drawing Down formally has gotten one item bigger.

Now that I'm back from my trip, and especially if my pain is better managed, I can make the shawl for my friend C that she bought the yarn for a year ago. Hopefully, I can get it done for her quickly, as it won't be long till it's cool enough for a shawl in Denver.

The food processor is your friend!

Eggplant Caviar.

It's cooling in the fridge right now. I added garlic, of course. And I made it with three eggplants, tripling the recipe.

The food processor gave me a really fine mince of the onion with minimal effort; cut onion in quarters or sixths, toss in processor, pulse till fine.

It took me 25 minutes broiling time, and could probably have used another five. However, the food processor came to the rescue again; the scraped out eggplant was stringy, so I plopped it into the food processor as well rather than trying to stir it to break it down. I added the oil, dill weed (dried) and salt. We don't use pepper much; it upsets K's digestion.

I also knocked together Hummus from a Fantastic Foods box mix. However, I think that next time I may try fresh ingredients and the food processor for that as well -- I noticed an unopened jar of tahini in the kitchen today. Okay, fresh except for the chickpeas/garbonzos -- I'll either have to reconstitute them from dried or use canned ones, as they aren't a fresh option.

I thought I'd have a power chair by the end of the month...

I called the place that I'm getting the power chair from. They haven't heard on the chair. Medicaid has no record of the chair requisition. Turns out, the store didn't send it direct to Medicaid; they sent it to a clearing house that does a lot of the verification and leg work for Medicaid. They gave me that number.

It's disconnected. The store didn't make copies of the originals they sent. I'm mildly panicked. I would really like to see that damn chair. The guy at the store that works on Medicaid claims said he'd have it straightened out in the morning. I sure hope so. I don't know how they'll replace those originals otherwise.

My right leg is spasming so badly I can barely walk; I need that pool time desperately. I really did think that I'd have a chair in the next day or so. I'm guessing a minimum of two weeks now and I am NOT happy.

My Medicaid got cancelled at the beginning of the month, leaving me without, among other things, my antidepressant for over a week. Kent takes the same antidepressant, at a third the dosage, and tends to stock up, so I made a large dent in his supply for the week I was without insurance. He says it's fine, but boy was I ready to throttle people. Especially when I was trying to find out what was wrong with Alyria's arm while in massive amounts of pain myself. (Evidence my posts from earlier this month.) Why in the blue hells it takes four days from Medicaid being restored on Denver's computers to it showing up on Medicaid's computers, and why no one can do anything about that damn four day delay frustrates me incredibly. My pharmacy was at least helpful; I'd call them every day or so and ask them if my Medicaid was active, they'd type on the computer, say "Sorry, you're still ineligible," and we'd wait for the computers to take four days. Computers run very fast these days. Why four days?

I don't know if that's an intentional bureaucratic delay, or a flaw in the system. I think I may actually call my caseworker this week and talk to her about it; she might at least know where the delay comes from.

In other news, the crone's shawl progresses oh so slowly. I think I'll spend some time fiddling with it again today.

SSDI decision

I received a decision from the Social Security Administration today. The decision: That my disabilities were not severe enough to prevent me from working.

This is the first decision; the first is almost always negative. I already have attorneys, and I'll call them on Monday, but they're copied in on the decision, so I expect they'll already be starting work on the appeal.

The letter says it's based in part on my age and education. I suspect the logic is "You have a Master's Degree, you should be able to find work," when the reality is that I have a Master's Degree, therefore everyone assumes I am too expensive to hire.

They didn't have all the psych stuff, and the fact that my depression manifests as rage isn't particularly evident so far either. I need to remember to mention that to the attorneys on Monday.

The Sprog has a bruised ulnar nerve, aka "funny bone." Large doses of Ibprofen seem to be doing the trick. And the reason I posted how much Tramadol I usually take yesterday was because after taking my morning dose and driving to the clinic, I had to take another 100 mg of Tramadol just to be able to focus enough to see to her care. Or rather, to play merry-go-phone before taking her home so her dad could take her in.

Crone's shawl

I'm making this shawl with this yarn (Color 14, on the third row.)

Gods help me. This stuff tangles and is difficult to work with. Fortunately, I have a couple of months. I have another one to make for a friend, with much friendlier yarn, but I thought I'd get back in the swing of things with my own shawl. I'm starting to think that was a bad plan.

The City and County of Denver, and Medicaid, can bite me.

So, I take a large dose of Lexapro in order to function in "civilized" society. 60 mg a day, plus 45 mg of Remeron in the evenings. When my depression isn't treated, it comes out as rage.

We're currently on TANF while my husband retrains as a welder so he can make a living wage, and since I only filed in October 2005, my SSDI is a ways from manifesting. Hence, TANF, food stamps, extremely inadequate amounts of cash to struggle by on, and Medicaid.

Hubby got a rather large chunk of back unemployment in April. This is June. He reported the income, as required, and we got no TANF funds for June -- TANF funds are always two months behind. We were supposed to stay on Medicaid and get food stamps, though.

However, apparently this month, there was a bug in the program, and folks who didn't qualify for cash this month got dropped from Medicaid as well. Last Wednesday, I went to fill my Lexapro prescription, and on Friday I discovered that my Medicaid status showed as "ineligible." Friday was the day I had no more Lexapro. So, since Hubby is head of household, he called the caseworker. She actually got the Medicaid reapproved yesterday, the 13th, but it will be four days from the change in Denver's system before the change will show up in Medicaid's system.

How do I know all this? The Sprog developed a severe muscle spasm in her left arm last night, and it didn't go away. So I called the doctor's office, and they had no appointments. Hence, I proceeded to Urgent Care, where they told me that HER Medicaid was invalid. I called the customer service number for the C&C of Denver, and yes, they did show our Medicaid as active. I asked them to fax that information to the Urgent Care clinic, but the customer service line can't do that, only my caseworker can. Well, I'd already tried the caseworker, and she has been off Monday through today, Wednesday. So they put me through to my caseworker's supervisor...actually, to her voice mail. I was pretty snitty, I don't know if the woman will call me back or not. I requested her PROMPT attention to the matter.

Then I called Medicaid. That's how I found out that while it shows active in Denver, it won't show up as active on Medicaid's computers until Saturday -- four days after it was updated by Denver. Could Medicaid fax the information to the Urgent Care clinic? Oh no, your caseworker has to do that.

Mind, each of these calls came with 20 minute hold times.

Rewind and go through the actual physical occurrences. For my pain, I generally take 50 mg of Tramadol in the morning, 50 in the middle of the day, and 100 at bedtime. Last night, The Sprog asked to stay up an hour later. I told her she could if she cleaned out my truck the next day, and she agreed. Need to get the truck ready for my power chair, which can't be ordered till my Medicaid is back up. So during her "extra hour," she says her left arm "flipped," then spasmed from her fingers to her elbow. I had her ice it and take Advil, then go to bed.

Today, her arm still hurts. OK, not a transient phenomenon. I figure that it will be easier to maneuver with my walker than my wheelchair, especially with one of her arms out of commission. I didn't realize that my own muscle spasms on my right leg were going to kick in full force. My lower back, right across the top of the pelvis, and my right ankle were in full spasm. I'd taken my morning Tramadol; hadn't touched it. So I'm driving the Sprog to the Urgent Care Clinic, and as soon as we get there, I took 100 mg more so I could function without screaming. We signed in to the clinic at 2:30; by the time I got done playing phone tag and getting nowhere, it was 3:30. I contacted Hubby, and he was on his way home from welding class, so we arranged to meet at the house, and considering my pain levels, he would take her to the ER, where they wouldn't turn her away and could bill Medicaid lots more.

So now, here I sit, completely impotent on any issue about my own or my family's health, with a right leg spasming from my back to the bottom of my ankle, while Hubby and The Sprog are waiting in the low-priority queue at the ER. With luck, I'll hear in a few hours. Meanwhile, time to start applying herbal salves to the spasms in hopes of easing the pain.A

Easy food: Roast chicken

I feed a family of four; three adults and an adolescent. We all have healthy appetites, so a chicken feeds us for one meal. I usually roast two chickens at once in my turkey roaster so I can have a day off from cooking.

Based on a recipe from Barbara Kafka's Roasting: A Simple Art.

Take two chickens of approximately equal size. Preheat oven to 500º. Yes, I do mean that high. Remove the innards of the chicken if the bird came with them; you can freeze them for later use, feed them to your pets, cook them for yourself if you like that sort of thing. Wash and shake dry. Face both chickens the same way. Put a flavoring agent (half a lemon, a handful of garlic cloves, a heaping soup spoon of lavender buds [my current favorite], a quarter of an onion) in the body cavity. Slide the roaster in the oven with the legs pointing towards the back of the oven. Set the timer for 10 minutes.

For an at-the-same-time side dish, cut wedges of potato to cover the surface of the roaster not covered by chicken. The potatoes will soak up the chicken fat and taste wonderful, but they certainly aren't "healthy." Just delicious.

After 10 minutes, shake or push the chickens so they don't stick to the roasting pan. Add the potatoes if desired. Set the timer for an hour. At that time, pierce the chicken to see if it is done; if the juices run clear the chicken is done; if pink, give the chicken some more roasting time. Once the chickens are done, remove it/them to serving platters, stir the potatoes to bring the browned parts facing up, and pop the potatoes back in while the chicken rests 10 - 15 minutes for maximum juicyness. Pull the potatoes out, turn off the oven, and carve the bird(s). Allow family to serve themselves from the roasting pan and the carved chicken.

Adding a salad to this would be somewhat healthier.

Easy Food -- Porketta Roast

This is one of those fast-prep, cook slow meals that are easiest on me, and my family enjoys. I showed my friend L how to cook it, although that was a little hard on her PTSD, it came out great.

Ingredients:

About half a cup of dry rub. The last one I did had garlic powder, Italian herbs, ginger, nutmeg, and whatever other spice looked like a good match.

1 half pork loin, roughly 4-5 pounds. It looks like an arm. Really. You don't want a tenderloin, that's a much smaller cut of meat.

Preheat oven to 325.

unwrap, rinse, and pat dry the pork loin. Lay it in the roaster fat side down, and press the rub into the bottom and sides of the roast. Don't forget the ends -- the guys in the family adore the end cut. Flip the roast over and press the rest of the rub on the top, getting the top edge of the sides well coated as well.

If you want do to a side dish at the same time, peel and cut in quarters about 4" long some garnet yams or sweet potatoes. Rub the yams in some of the spices that have fallen off the roast -- just a bit, don't spend much time on it -- and toss them in the roasting pan with the pork loin.

Put the whole thing in the oven for about an hour and a half. If it's a slightly smaller roast, check it at an hour and 15 minutes. Roast till internal temperature is nearly 160. Take it out of the oven, transfer the roast to a platter. Let it sit for 15 minutes to finish cooking and redistribute the juices. If you're like me, stick a heat proof spoon in the roasting pan and let people serve themselves the yams; get someone to slice the pork roast. Or, if you have the spoons, slice it, put the yams in a serving dish, and present it prettily.

For the disabled traveler

http://www.gimponthego.com

http://www.disabledtravelers.com

I haven't done much traveling recently, though we'll be taking a road trip in August. However, when dealing with any government building these days, you have to do the x-ray the belongings and walk through the metal detector routine.

Well, I use a manual wheelchair. I hope to be upgrading to a power chair soon, but Medicaid is currently osed-hay. At any rate, in either case, they have me go around the metal detector, which goes off anyway, and then proceed to use a wand.

While I'm sitting on a pile of metal.

And they always act as if they're afraid they'll break me. I'm big enough to need a bariatric wheelchair; it's not like I'm a fragile flower. Hell, half the time people call me "sir." But I'm treated so gingerly by folks at security checkpoints that I worry about their ability to actually check for dangers should someone use a chair to hide a weapon of some sort.

Me

Hey

This is my initial post to get things rolling, so to speak. I'll start posting content soon.